And so it goes...

05/25/07

05/21/07

05/20/07

05/17/07

05/16/07

05/12/07
Going home day for mom! Up at 5:30. Called Bri and Sean at 8:45 to come up asap and those lazy bones were still sleeping! They got there around 10:30 and we rolled up to the NICU to see Nick. He's under blue bili lights for jaundice and has little black goggles on to protect his eyes. They took the vent out when the decided he was doing just as well with the CPAP and his chest xray is unchanged. Nick got his first feeding today! 1ml! They wanted to see how well he tolerated it and he did great so he'll get another 1ml later today. Had to wait while my paperwork was processing but finally got out about 12:00. Headed to Golden Coral and ate wayyy to much - I'm famished!

05/11/07
Getting restless now - I'd like to see Nick but by the time the nurses are done with checking on me, lunch comes, then I fell asleep and decide to wait until Bri comes tonight to wheel me up so I don't have to risk Wheelchair-Witch-Lady showing up. They decided to vent Nick to get some surfactant down to his lungs which will help them inflate better. He doesn't need it to breathe they just want to make him work less hard. He ended up getting a Pneumothorax - an accumulation of air between the outer lining of the lung and the chest wall, causing collapse of the lung.

05/10/07
10:00am Got moved upstairs to another room. It was about 1/4 of the size of the other one but the bed was much more comfy! I told Bri I really needed some rest after the crazy week I'd just had. So we decided he should take Sean to his tae kwon do class tonight and they'd come up tomorrow evening. I didn't get to see Nick until late afternoon. I called to get a wheelchair and it took awhile. Just as she got there the tech came in to get blood and vitals and I asked the nurse to unhook my IV so I wouldn't have to cart that around. That all took about 10 min. So we're finally ready to go to the NICU and I apologized to the wheelchair lady for having to wait (even though it wasn't my fault) and she kind of gave me an attitude. What was THAT about?? So she wheels me to the elevator and we go to the 5th floor. She starts to wheel me out the elevator and the wheel gets caught in the door track and almost dumps me out on the floor. I've just had a c section 24 hrs ago so that definitelty hurt and scared the bejeepers out of me. She says sorry and tries to wheel me out again and the wheel gets caught in the track and she almost dumps me out on the floor AGAIN!!!!! We finally get to the PICU and the nurses can't find my name on the register. She acts like she has no idea what to do and finally I'm like "He's in the ICN not the PICU!" I've just had a csection why would a newborn be in the PICU!!!??? By this time I was really ticked off. Once again she acts like she has no idea what to do so I ask someone "Where is the ICN"? He gives us directions and the lady huffily replies that she knows where it is...um...ok why are we at the PICU then?? Thank heavens I finally get to the ICN. I scrub my hands and arms for 1 min. per protocol and go in to see Nick.

I was prepared for small...but the actual smallness of a 2lb baby is still a shock. I, of course, start crying and curse myself for not carrying my box of tissues at all times. He is very pink...too pink. His skin is almost transparent. He has a cpap on with mininal oxygen, to give a little pressure to his lungs to inflate. He's doing well - better than anyone hoped. The steroids definitely helped! I'm starting to get very sore from standing so I need to get back to bed. I'm very glad to see someone else has arrived to wheel me back to my room I couldn't handle that other lady one more minute.

Just taking Motrin now. No pain at all unless I walk around and even then it's manageable.

05/09/07
Another night of little sleep. The bed was so uncomfortable and my hips were killing me from staying on my left side - the Ambien didn't even work this time. Around 3am I finally drifted off only to be awakened a few minutes later by 4 nurses and a doctor rushing in. The baby had decelerated to 50 again and, for a few seconds which seemed like an hour, they couldn't find his heartbeat. They put an O2 mask on me and were quickly taking vitals (BP, temp, etc.), then the ultrasound tech did a sonogram to make sure the baby was ok. Everyone was relieved when he said he was moving. At 7:15 the dr. came in and said we can't let that happen again because there is the chance his heartbeat won't go back up. We'll have to deliver this morning. I thought I was prepared for those words but really - who can be prepared for that? I was holding out hope for a couple more weeks - or even days - but everything is now crashing around me. The doctor asked how soon my husband could be here. I said about an hour...and he said ok we'll start as soon as he gets here.

I called Bri at 7:30 and he was probably more shocked than I was, but he took Sean to school and got to the hospital at 9. There was another emergency csection and she would be going first so we were looking to go at about 11:00. At 10:30 they wheeled me into the OR and got the spinal anesthesia going. My IV decided to blow out so they had to put another one in my right wrist. The spinal was not the most pleasant thing but I have to say it was marginally better than the epidural I had with Sean. I was freezing so they gave me a warm blanket which was wonderful but didn't really help my shaking. After the IV was pumping morphine we were ready to go, so the nurse went to get Bri who was waiting in my room. The nurse accidentally brought back the wrong guy - she brought the father of the other csection - so she had to go back and get Bri. Now Bri didn't know he was supposed to be getting gowned up while he was waiting...so all of this took a few minutes. They had to start the surgery and by the time Bri got to the OR we were already in progress! We were joking that everyone had masks on so we wouldn't know he was the wrong guy until he pulled out my baby boy (the other father was expecting a girl!). Bri did make it in time but he didn't have long to wait before Nicholas Robert made his appearance with a healthy scream! I was so glad his lungs seemed to be working fine from the sound of it. The neonatal team showed him to us then quickly whisked him next door for evaluation.

After a few minutes they brought him back, all snug in a cellophane wrap to conserve heat, for a quick glance again and said he was 1050 grams (2lbs 5 oz), 13.5" long and doing well. We were happy he was even a bit bigger than we thought! He went straight to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) where he got his IV and was put on Continuous Positive Airway Pressure (CPAP) through a nasal prong. The CPAP does not breathe for him (like a vent does); the flow of air creates enough pressure when he inhales to keep his airway open. I was taken back to my room - my lower body was still completely numb from the spinal but I felt pretty good in general. I was amazed at how good I felt until I found out my last csection was complicated by the magnesium sulfate (the dreaded MAG) which was given to me to prevent seisures. That stuff will make you feel like a train wreck. So this time I was elated to find no trainwreck and actually very little pain (I only took Motrin).

Bri went home to get Sean and Jim and Dan came up about 3:00. I was given the ok for food...I had been so long without food I had pretty much lost the urge to eat. Jim and Dan went to the cafeteria and got me a parfait. Sean got to see Nick and took some pictures of him squeezing Sean's finger. He thought that was the greatest thing ever! After the boys left, they brought dinner up and I ate that too.

05/08/07
I slept about 15min all night because I was on constant monitoring. I was just resigned to lying on my left side because if I, or the baby, shifted positions his heart beat wouldn't register and the nurse would come in and move the belly monitor to pick it up again. Plus if I was on my back his heart rate would decel and they would rush in to turn us back on my left side. Boy does that hurt after awhile!! But as with everything - if it meant his heart rate would be steady I was up for it. I finally drifted to sleep around 3am and within 15 min was awakened by 3 nurses and a dr. rushing into my room. The baby's heart had deceled to ~50 but we readjusted me more onto my leftside and he stabilized. I think he was just seeing if the nurses were awake and on their toes out there! The dr. said if the baby is doing the same or worse than now we will have to deliver Thursday May 10 if not sooner. If he is somehow doing way better (no decels etc) we will wait and watch.

I had an hour long ultrasound and the tech was so great - she explained everything she was looking for and even gave me a 3D picture of Nick's face. She said he was about 2lbs 3oz and it's accurate to 0.5lb so I felt better...2lbs is micro small but it was still better than 1lb something.

Spent the day flipping channels and I got my 2nd shot of steroids at 5:00 . They finally took pity on me and said I could have broth and lemon jello. I swear it was the best meal I've ever had! Bri and Sean came up 7-9. Sean didn't want to leave but he wasn't as upset as the last time.

05/07/07
10:30 I had a regularly scheduled 28 week doc appt today and my gestational diabetes test (GTT). I hadn't eaten since last night's dinner and for breakfast at 9:30 I ate 2 eggs, toast with margarine and a glass of milk as suggested. After my last L&D visit ended in an overnight stay in the hospital, this time I decided to pack a small bag with my toothbrush and essentials but left it in the car. I figured if I had to go to L&D again I could go to the car and get it on the way. My BP was up - which we already knew would be the case. The dr. decided to hook me up to the fetal heart monitor to check the baby's heart rate. After about 15 minutes, the nurse came back to check me then went right out to get the dr. - the baby's heart was showing decelerations (decels) from 150's (normal) to the 50's (bad). The dr. said "I'm calling L&D you need to get over there right now - DO NOT STOP!" Her tone freaked me out - so needless to say I didn't go to the car and get my bag but went straight over.

The L&D nurse calmly came out to the waiting area to get me and as soon as I got my gown on everything went into warp speed. There were 3 nurses and my dr. hovering over me. One was putting in an IV, one was putting on wrist bands, one was checking vitals and my dr. (out of breath from running up to L&D for me!) was assessing me.

I was in shock at how quickly this progressed and I was not prepared for the urgency. After all, I had been to L&D twice before and we ended up ok! But then my dr. started talking about delivery/emergency c section/blood transfusions and I started to blur the words. I wanted to scream "I just came in for my glucose test not a c section! I'm only 28 weeks this can't be happening! I laid on the table for awhile and my BP came down (amazing after all that stress) and his heart rate was no longer dipping, so the "emergency" was downgraded to a "watch".

5:30pm After about 3 hrs they put me in a room and I got my 1st shot of steroids (to help Nick's premature lungs) and my Rhogam shot. Just as I was calming down the nurse told me they were transferring me to another hospital with a level IV NICU. So when I delivered the baby would already be close to the NICU and not have to be transported by amulance. Suddenly it really sunk in...I am 28 weeks, I am going to deliver very soon and I'm not leaving the hospital until I do.

The ambulance soon came and the super kind EMT ladies strapped me (clutching my half empty box of tissues) onto the gurney for the 30 min ride. They rolled me up to my room (which was very nice and roomy) and the nurse checked in on me. It was 9:30pm and I had been on this rollercoaster for almost 12 hrs. I was starving and thirsty but they didn't want to give me anything until the docs assessed us just in case surgery was still on the plan. At this point I didn't even care about food I just wanted the baby to be ok.

05/05/07
7:00pm I'm still here in the hospital waiting for my labs to come back so I can get released! Ugh I hate waiting! They're great here but I'm ready to go home!

05/04/07
Had to go to L&D today again! I had an appt for a BP check at 11:15 and my BP was 155/100 and wouldn't go down. So they sent me to L&D where I got hooked up for 3 hrs and of course once I got there it was a lot better. However they wanted to get a 24 hr BP profile and urine so they're keeping me overnight. I hadn't eaten since 8 this morning and finally got my room and ordered dinner at 4:30 (which takes an hour to come up) so I have a splitting headache. But the tylenol should kick in soon and they gave me Ambien too so I'm anxious to get some sleep.

Bri and Sean came up and we had snacks and played a card game then I got a sonogram. Everything looks great~! He weighs about 2lbs 3oz (+/- 5 oz) and is measuring right on. AFI (amniotic fluid) is 20ml and she said for someone with my BP they look for 16-26ml so I'm good. Cervix is still closed and 2.5cm. It was past visiting hrs but they were nice enough to let Bri and Sean go to the sonogram with me so they got to see him onscreen too. Sean was having such a blast riding the wheelchair that the orderly let him push me back to my room. The boys left at 9:45pm and Sean was just sobbing hysterically he's never really been away from me that much overnight plus being overly tired. It was rough I've never seen him so upset.

So I'll be home tomorrow afternoon. Long day!

05/01/07
I'm done. I'm on modified bedrest - meaning I can get up to eat and take a shower and that's it. I took in my 24 hr urine today and it was 157mg. The dx for preeclampsia is 330mg so I am inching closer and it's increased from my last test (a month or so ago) but I don't know by how much. My BP was still 140/100 so they had me lay down and took it 2 more times and it was 130/88 which was low enough to let me go home and not go to L&D again. Oh man I was so scared I'd have to spend another 3 hr in L&D!!!!

So I stopped at work and got a few things, and my disability paperwork, and told my boss. He's the best - extra super supportive. Then I stopped at the grocery store because we basically had no food here and I knew Bri is already freaking out and wouldn't be able to get anything for awhile.

Today he laid the whole back yard with sod and tonight he has to take Sean to putt putt with cub scouts. Last night was tae kwon do...so if anything he will definitely appreciate me more while I can't do anything!!

The Doc pretty well scared me about the bed rest. So I'm going to take it seriously. They say the average time from diagnosis of PE to delivery is 2 weeks. It could steam roll faster than that or I could limp along for weeks like this. My cervix was still long and closed so that is good...hopefully my water won't break this time. Everytime I sneeze or cough I freak out.

I go back Friday for a BP check and then Monday I have my GTT and a sonogram. It'll be a relief to see how big he is even though I've heard the weight (determined by ultrasound) could be off by 1lb either way.

04/30/07

I'm home today. I called the doc about my swollen glands... I didn't really want to as they probably would want me to come in and it would be just another annoying preggo thing anyway. So I had to go in. They weren't too concerned about the glands since I hadn't been sick (other than the nasal congestion I've had for 6 months) and said maybe I'm grinding or it's TMJ and call my dentist if it doesn't go away. :(

But they were concerned about my BP which was 140/102. So I had to lay on my side a few min and they retook it and it was like 145/90 or something but no protein yet. So I have to do a 24 hr urine today and go back tomorrow to recheck. If it's still high I might be looking at bed rest...If it's down I probably go back to work. Depends a lot on which dr. is there tomorrow...some are more conservative than others. One might say bedrest while one might say get back to work and we'll check in a week. I have an appt next Mon for an US anyway. I'm 27 weeks so in a way I'm not as worried as I was- every week is a bonus at this point. I went on bedrest at about 28-29 weeks last time. So I slept for about 2 hrs today I was really tired. I still feel like doodoo I don't know if it's the BP or just annoying preggo fatigue! I have no idea what we're doing for dinner. Sean has been making breakfast (he rocks!!) but when I hear stuff clanking in the kitchen I have to go see what he's making. He's very good with making stuff but he overflowed the coffee one day and I don't like surprises at 6:30 am!